Hollywood - Little Ethiopia - Hollywood

It was a beautiful perfect day in Los Angeles on the day of the 21st of May. The sun was shining and the wind smelled sweet.

I began my journey on the hunt (and after) a day pass to get me through until tomorrow. Several cash checking places later, I ended up at RiteAid buying makeup and soda..not exactly a bus pass. I walked over to LaBrea where I caught the 704 for one stop, free of charge (thank you kind driver), to Fairfax. No one stuck out in my mind on the ride. I lallygagged around Whole Foods for a while buying cookies and coffees and enjoying all sort of treats. I then headed to the bus stop for the 780 to Pico/Fairfax. I was minding my own when a man on a cell phone approached the seat next to me, he sat down and looked around for a while. Suddenly he made a sharp 90 degree turn towards me and asked "Hello, are you from here?". I was startled by his heavy Russian accent and his abruptness when asking. "No, from New York (forced smile)". He turned again, and remained quiet. 17 seconds later he made another, more forceful turn and asked, "You are Russian?" "About 1/8 or so, yes..My great grandmother was" "Where from in Russia?" "I don't remember......." "From UKRAINE??" ........................... "Uhh...Yes actually. (??)" "What is your name?" "Sophia" "AH, yes Russian name (large grin baring his 3 gold teeth)". All was quiet for a while, as I scratched my head at how Russians ALWAYS manage to sniff out my tiny amount of Russian blood. Silence again until he turned one last time and said, "I'm taxi driver, you know?" "Oh, really? (forced smile)" "Yes. I give you a ride, where are you going? Are you going home? I can ride you there for free?" .................................. "ummm. no thanks. it's alright. i'm going to take the bus, thank you. O_O" "No really, for free" "NO...I'M GOOD ON THE BUS thankyou"

Just then he leaves without saying a word... no goodbyes...not even a glance. I think I'll save being kidnapped for a day less beautiful, it's far too nice to spend it in the trunk of a cab!

Saved by the bus, I boarded and found a comfortable spot to call my own. All was well until the Christian Audigier sandwich board got on and sat right next to me. I had immediate rage towards this man. He was far too mature to not realise how douchey the whole Ed Hardy/Christian Audigier thing looks! He not only had on the God-awful sweatshirt (obviously brand new), the hat, and the jeans, but he had to, just HAD to be carrying a new CA bag in his hands.. Like he went in there wearing all of that to buy another piece of ugly attire.



Now, I'm all about freedom of fashion, and wearing whatever makes you happy. And obviously CA made this guy really REALLY happy..It just makes me sad to see what looked to me like a fine older gentleman in such ugly gross attire trying to be someone he's not. Can't we just burn down the headquarters and take care of the problem?

I saw another woman who looked EXACTLY like a cartoon character. Her face was as funny shaped as her body, and it all looked a bit like a droopy peanut from the Midwest. She made me cough up a combination of a chuckle and some vomit, I'm not really sure why..

The rest of my journey is hazy, although I did meet a nice young man who asked about my tattoo. We discusses Hunter S. Thompson (the inspiration) for a while and then became facebook friends. Oh the wonderful world of technology :) I'm sure I'll never see him again in my life, but at least I'll know that his Grandma in Washington is doing well after her heart surgery and that her Danny loves his gimgims.

...Just kidding, I know nothing about this boy or his gim gim. He might not even have a gim gim for all I know ;)

That being said, I think it's time to end this adventure. Stay tuned next week!

West Hollywood - Pasadena - West Hollywood

Welcome back to the magical metro tour!



Today I found myself heading east on the 780 to Pasadena to help a friend with some home maintenance. I only had to take one bus there, which was a thrill to say the least! Almost unheard of here...But my journey home certainly made up for that. I hopped on and settled into a nice people watching spot, leaving my jacket on the seat next to me so no one would sit next to me (rude I know, but a girl needs her boundaries).

It was the usual suspects at first:
1. Man with ear piece, letting the world in on his secrets
2. Punk girl with death glare
3. House music master blaster, pumping out beats for the whole bus to groove
4. 13 year old with adult problems, telling some unfortunately less mature being on his iphone "I told you to call me after 6... what can't you understand about that??"
5. Jake Gyllenhaal.

...Just kidding. But I did see him while passing by his Prince Of Persia premiere on Hollywood Blvd! Again, typical Hollywood... Can't even ride the bus without seeing Jake Gyllenhaal, or some other high power a-lister. Damn you Hollywood! Stop being so... you!!


You know, there's something I noticed about the people who ride the buses here. They all seem to know each other! And they all know their drivers! It's like a little family.. The same people ride the same lines on the same days and same times. I didn't see that in ny as much, although I did run into people I knew many times on the subways.. But I think that was just dumb luck. Maybe it's because less people use the Metro here? Or maybe it's a secret govt conspiracy...maybe they're all robot aliens sent here to destroy the planet one transportation system at a time!! ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! To the bunker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

About 1 hour and 45 minutes later I arrived safely in Pasadena, where I consumed Thai food, mopped floors, and played Ghost Recon 2 with my dear friend. The time had come to make my journey homeward as it was well beyond the witching hour. I had 3 buses ahead of me, and 2 cats at home who needed me in one piece!



First was the 180 to Hollywood/New Hampshire in Little Armenia (I know, don't even get me started). It was already 1am, and I had to make it to Colorado/Mentor in 6 minutes, so I bloody ran. I was huffing and puffing and of course the bus was late...It finally arrived, 4 minutes late, and I was greeted by the late night crew. Whodini was a wise one letmetellu, the freaks really do come out at night! it's not that I felt unsafe at all, but everyone seemed to be a little more frisky and a little more crumbly. Not more than 45 seconds had passed when an old man who was I think was tied to the bus itself, and a middle aged man began duking it out. They were arguing about the MTA system and it's injustices and it sounded something like this "Shut your motha f*ckin mouth old man, you old" "Don't you old me you don't know the history of MTA, I DO" "I don't give a f*ck, why you in the drivers business, mind your own" "Don't you take that tone with me young man, and don't you use those words.... driver he's using very hostile 4 letter words-" "Shut the f*ck up oldie"

I can't wait to be old, grumpy, and chained to a bus!
Suddenly the bus went dark, I had lost all hope for a brief moment, accepting the fact that I may have to live amongst the wicked and the 4 letter words of the damned...just when I thought I was done for a ghastly fluorescent beam of hope shined into my eyes. I wasn't stuck there on Colorado and Mentor...I was really going somewhere in life!!

Things were quiet until party kids arrived. They weren't quite kids, most likely in their 30s, high as a kite with 4 grocery bags full of all different varieties of snacking chip. The moment they sat down the air smelt of sweet bbq and artificial flavouring. They crunched their way through all 4 bags not even stopping to breathe, and discussed which "bitches" they felt they had "made a connection" with this week. Oh, youth.
They felt it their duty on Earth to comment on everyone's behaviour on the bus. From the man in the checkered suit who was shouting "He is a really good driver!" to me, the girl who was writing everything down. Shoot, I thought, I've been seen. I tried my best to act natural, I stole someone's newspaper and tried to blend in... They exited the bus and offered to make me an alfredo pizza, I smiled and nodded and took special note of the grocery bag containing 4 DiGiorno frozen pizzas.

It was closing in on 2am now, and my next adventure was to hop on the 217 to Melrose/Fairfax where I would hopefully catch my final bus home. I had a minor moment of panic when I realised I had no clue which direction to go so I ran back and forth in the deserted streets, checking my compass like a chicken with no head. I called my buddy Josh and begged him to google map for me (curse my life with no iphone!) We concluded that I needed to be heading west...a conclusion I could have come to on my own if not in Little Armenia at 2am by myself. I used an intense amount of psychic powers and manifestation to get the 217 to arrive. There wasn't much to say about this ride..The door sounded like dying mice, the wheelchair alarm was so loud it could have killed a baby elephant, there were moths, 3 Mexicans, 2 sassy gay guys, and a sleeping homeless man in a pear tree.

The best part about that trip is that I found a nickle.. and boy was it shiny!

I had finally arrived at Melrose..It was raining and I had already come to the conclusion that I was walking home.. 15 minutes was better than 2 hours of waiting for the bus to arrive, right? Plus it was nearly 3am and my spirit was no longer. But cry no more little wind child, there is a holy man! I was around the corner and the 10 West Hollywood driver saw me looking at him with pain in my eyes from across the street... I couldn't make this could I? I could run, but would it be a failed mission from the start?? But then, the man in the golden bus stopped! He waited for me as I dodged cars and ran to him...I'm pretty sure it was in slo-mo and and I'm almost CERTAIN I heard some Rod Stewart in the background. This driver, Mr. Terrance, didn't charge me a cent! He really was the cherry on my sundae.. It's moments like these that make you want to go out and save the world.


Maybe I'll even donate my nickle...



Until then... I bid you adieu.

West Hollywood - Downtown

Hi!!
My name is Sophia, I'm a 24 year old New York native with no driver's license and a bad case of wanderlust. I moved to Los Angeles about a year ago without fully realising the importance and necessity of a vehicle in this not so tiny town. I've been "going metro" for almost 12 months, and so far it's given me nothing but a bucket full of stories for the grandchildren. I was on my way to meet a friend tonight in Downtown LA, when I decided that I needed to start sharing my stories with the world.. And if nobody ends up reading this, at least it will be good therapy after a hair-pulling-5 hour-6 bus journey just to go to the grocery store!

I wish I had written down some of my earlier bus experiences, like the one time I saw a leprechaun talking to a bear in a tutu.. Or the time a man proved his flexibility to me on the way to Santa Monica by doing leg lifts, bends and stretches in the aisle. But that is why I'm starting this now!

In New York I took the subways and buses nearly everyday, and there were always noteworthy characters..but there's something special about the LA Metro riders... something is different about them... I'm not sure if it's because they seem a little more depraved? Or perhaps it's because many of them seem to have crawled out of the sewers in search of their nightly meal of flesh and blood! No, I kid Los Angeles bus riders... sort of. I mean, I'm one of them! (But that's not saying much, is it?)

Tonight's ride wasn't particularly enthralling, there were only a few key characters I took special note of:

1. The Multi-Stop Magician - This guy and his lady got on the bus right after I did and they sat and chatted for quite a few stops until he got off leaving his lady behind. I wouldn't have paid too much attention except for the fact that several stops later the very same guy re-entered the bus and sat right back down next to his lady and they continued their conversation as if no time had passed! What did this guy do, exit - sprint for 2 miles - stop for a tinkle - and get back on?? I was baffled and a little unnerved by this whole situation but no one else around me seemed to take any notice, so I left it alone.

2. The Smelly Seat Hopper - This guy was far less impressive than mr. magic up there, in fact this guy was just rude. He entered the bus pretty close to DT, somewhere on Temple and immediately the air thickened. I could smell him the moment he set foot inside... Now, it wasn't like he was homeless or anything, he was wearing fresh slacks and a button down shirt, it's just that he smelled REALLY bad! I'm not talking sweaty, or musky... I'm talking garbagey, more like SEWAGEY. I swear he rolled around in pig slop before getting on tonight, just to make us all suffer. And the worst part about him is that he couldn't stay in one spot! He started in the front of the bus, and hopped from seat to seat eventually making his way to the back, leaving his stench to linger in the noses of us innocents. I mean really guy... figure this thing out... It can't be good for the environment!

I ended up getting a ride home from my friend, so I have no return stories... But lucky for you I have many more bus rides in my future, and If Los Angeles stays just the way it is for me, I'll have many more stories ;)

See you next time!
*S*