Haunted House Of Blues

It was a full moon the night of the 27th of May. I was on my way to a Super Black Market show at the House Of Blues. I felt the moon's energy beaming down my neck, and was greeted midway through my journey by a little black cat I named Julio. I walked to Sunset to take the 2 and waited for quite some time, getting nervous I'd miss the show. I started to think the bus wasn't coming and I didn't know what to do! I made up my own moon chant, and decided that the bus was going to come in 30 seconds...I counted down...stood up...AND IT WAS THERE! No joke! Spooky eh?

There were a few interesting folks for 9:30pm on a Thursday.

1. Millionaire Metro Man - Quite well dressed, had a suit in a dry cleaners bag from The W hanging on the bus pole. Kept his head in his lap the entire time. I thought the plane was crashing.. But I think it was just his own personal plane. His shoes, obviously Italian leather, were as shiny as his greased hair. And he smelled sweetly of Givenchy. I never saw his face, he never moved an inch. Where was he going? There was only one more stop after mine.. And he didn't look ready to budge. So many questions have I.

2. Drunken Lovers - Arrived together, stumbled together, did not sit together...but left together. You solve that riddle!

3. ipad Douchebag - I mean...who brings an ipad on the bus?? Really.

My ride home was spent with a very friendly transsexual. She was quite pretty as well, with perfect legs of course. I could hardly tell she was once boy, her voice was the only thing that gave her away. She told me she was going to visit her sister in Vegas to see her new baby nephew. Her sister's husband hated her for her life choices and it was always a struggle making the visit, but this was an exception. I had to leave before her, but if she happens to stumble upon this one day.. I hope she had/has a good visit, and I hope everything works out. Don't let the man get you down honey!

Tis all fair beasts. Love to thee.

Hollywood - West Hollywood

Hello again!

Sorry I've been a bit out of touch lately, I haven't really Gone Metro. I spent a brief moment today on a 4, and all I encountered was 1 pervert driver and 2 perfect children. One can only hope 1 and 2 will never meet.

The days are counting down until I have an ipod again, be prepared for a whole new set of adventures! My world is different with constant music, everything just tastes and feels so..much...BETTER!!

I will say goodnight early, but please do not cry.. For day will come surely, when you open your eyes.

Hollywood - Little Ethiopia - Hollywood

It was a beautiful perfect day in Los Angeles on the day of the 21st of May. The sun was shining and the wind smelled sweet.

I began my journey on the hunt (and after) a day pass to get me through until tomorrow. Several cash checking places later, I ended up at RiteAid buying makeup and soda..not exactly a bus pass. I walked over to LaBrea where I caught the 704 for one stop, free of charge (thank you kind driver), to Fairfax. No one stuck out in my mind on the ride. I lallygagged around Whole Foods for a while buying cookies and coffees and enjoying all sort of treats. I then headed to the bus stop for the 780 to Pico/Fairfax. I was minding my own when a man on a cell phone approached the seat next to me, he sat down and looked around for a while. Suddenly he made a sharp 90 degree turn towards me and asked "Hello, are you from here?". I was startled by his heavy Russian accent and his abruptness when asking. "No, from New York (forced smile)". He turned again, and remained quiet. 17 seconds later he made another, more forceful turn and asked, "You are Russian?" "About 1/8 or so, yes..My great grandmother was" "Where from in Russia?" "I don't remember......." "From UKRAINE??" ........................... "Uhh...Yes actually. (??)" "What is your name?" "Sophia" "AH, yes Russian name (large grin baring his 3 gold teeth)". All was quiet for a while, as I scratched my head at how Russians ALWAYS manage to sniff out my tiny amount of Russian blood. Silence again until he turned one last time and said, "I'm taxi driver, you know?" "Oh, really? (forced smile)" "Yes. I give you a ride, where are you going? Are you going home? I can ride you there for free?" .................................. "ummm. no thanks. it's alright. i'm going to take the bus, thank you. O_O" "No really, for free" "NO...I'M GOOD ON THE BUS thankyou"

Just then he leaves without saying a word... no goodbyes...not even a glance. I think I'll save being kidnapped for a day less beautiful, it's far too nice to spend it in the trunk of a cab!

Saved by the bus, I boarded and found a comfortable spot to call my own. All was well until the Christian Audigier sandwich board got on and sat right next to me. I had immediate rage towards this man. He was far too mature to not realise how douchey the whole Ed Hardy/Christian Audigier thing looks! He not only had on the God-awful sweatshirt (obviously brand new), the hat, and the jeans, but he had to, just HAD to be carrying a new CA bag in his hands.. Like he went in there wearing all of that to buy another piece of ugly attire.



Now, I'm all about freedom of fashion, and wearing whatever makes you happy. And obviously CA made this guy really REALLY happy..It just makes me sad to see what looked to me like a fine older gentleman in such ugly gross attire trying to be someone he's not. Can't we just burn down the headquarters and take care of the problem?

I saw another woman who looked EXACTLY like a cartoon character. Her face was as funny shaped as her body, and it all looked a bit like a droopy peanut from the Midwest. She made me cough up a combination of a chuckle and some vomit, I'm not really sure why..

The rest of my journey is hazy, although I did meet a nice young man who asked about my tattoo. We discusses Hunter S. Thompson (the inspiration) for a while and then became facebook friends. Oh the wonderful world of technology :) I'm sure I'll never see him again in my life, but at least I'll know that his Grandma in Washington is doing well after her heart surgery and that her Danny loves his gimgims.

...Just kidding, I know nothing about this boy or his gim gim. He might not even have a gim gim for all I know ;)

That being said, I think it's time to end this adventure. Stay tuned next week!

Hollywood-Downtown-West Hollywood-Hollywood

As extreme as my route may have seemed, the ride wasn't nearly as epic. I only encountered a few key players in this multi-stop morning to evening mania that were interesting enough to jot down. My ride from Hollywood to Downtown began at 7am, a gross and unjust time in the morning for one to begin a bus journey. I can't believe that people actually live lives at this time in the morning, it astounds me to see normal people going about doing normal activities i only thought possible past 11! But anyway...I was no happy camper dragging myself out of bed and into the cruel blue light outside, but at least where I was going was positive. I spent the morning and early afternoon at the Spring Arts Tower on Spring st doing a photoshoot with my dear friend Wendy. A group of us girls put all of our talents in one pot and made a delicious high fashion stew, with extra potassium :)

I remember nothing of this trip besides the strange foreign noises coming from the driver's mouth, and the roads with names I had never heard in my life. I tried to stay alive by exercising my mind, but found my head bopping off to dreamland instead. I'm lucky I made it out alive, I could be in the back of a truck in Carlsbad by now!!



...Just kidding, the 4 doesn't go that far.

I was going to head back to Hollywood but was made a better offer and found myself traveling westward, only to travel eastward by other means of transportation. I made a quick trip to the market, gathered my goods, and prepared myself for my voyage home.

The next journey on the 4(downtown) was much more colourful than the last. I was still in hair and makeup from the photoshoot and decided it was best to stay concealed beneath my shades to prevent or cut down interaction with society. My several bags of goodies and I squeezed next to an older, more shelterly challenged man with a McDonald's cup in his hand. He smiled and waved and said "HELLO!" to me, which would normally startle me but instead felt inviting. I said hello back and played around with my cell phone, texting back 3 people at once, and mumbling to myself. The man with the golden arched cup asks with complete sincerity, "Did you get MY message??". I was quite sad I hadn't actually, I would have loved to know what he would have texted me. I politely replied no, and he smiled and proceeded to chant a multi-tonal hymn into his cup off to the side, so as not to disturb anyone too much. Wow! I thought, that's exactly what I'm missing in my life! The man AND the cup!! More power to him, I hope to one day have to courage to carry my own singing cup...I have not yet decided which corporation will be so lucky to have the honour of being the chosen one...Only time will tell.

The only other guy I payed attention to doesn't even deserve to be written about... So I wont. Screw you washed up, back alley Fabio with a hankering for young Singapore women!!

Melrose/Orlando - Fairfax/3rd

Another Dash ride, at first I thought it wasn't going to be that interesting, in fact I wasn't even going to include this trip because I thought it would just be an ordinary run to Whole Foods. Nothing to talk about, no one to see. I was wrong.. It was incredibly interesting! At least far more so than I had ever imagined.



I've been wondering now for a while about this mysterious red box they keep on the Dash. It's always on the right hand side behind the first row of seats. I have no clue what it's about but I like to imagine a world of possibilities.. Perhaps it's used as an emergency flight control kit, in case a military plane goes down mid ride, and the only way to guide it to safety is to break out the box and ease it down using those strange orange reflector tools inside. Or maybe it's an erector set, in case Los Angeles gets attacked by robots, and the Dash buses have to build themselves into Transformers to fight off evil enemy robot buses. I'm sure the Dash isn't capable of instant transformation, I mean.. It's only 25¢.

There was only one note worthy soul on the bus ride there, and old woman of about 65 years:

Yeah, that's basically it...She looked good.

On the way home I waited alone, next to this small brown patch of liquid

Which I'm pretty sure was alive..Or at least it was talking to me.

There was an old timer with a Santa beard, some Weekend At Bernies shades, and an acid wash jacket rummaging the street for coins who came to wait a little while later, I was just about to give him a quarter when he yelled out: "SUCCESS!" and raised the handful of change in the air. I never have that kind of luck looking for change, unless you count that nickle incident... This guy was the best, at every stop he would sing "FaIrFaX & bEvErLy Is ThE nExT sToPpPpPP", with a huge grin on his face. Now, he just about made my day! I seriously wondered about his life. What was he like when he was younger? Was he a strapping lad? Did he or does he have a special lady? I really wish I could capture certain people and force their life stories out of them sometimes.. Not like I would scare the old man, just kind of jolt him enough to talk ;)

So there you go, just when you think life will be a drag, it kicks golden dirt in your face and makes you spit out smiles.

TO THE WORLD!!

West Hollywood - Miracle Mile

안녕하세요?


(find the fish)

Today was my Korean class at the 한국 문화원(Korean Cultural Center) on Wilshire/Dunsmuir. I only had to take the Dash-Fairfax to get there, a heavenly treat compared to most bus ride adventures. So far in my time in LA, the Dash has only taken me 2 places: Whole Foods, and Korean Class..This is perhaps why I have a bit of a bias towards it. Plus it's only 25¢, and my pocket ain't complaining about that!

I remember a time, long long ago...April. O! That glorious month in which I owned a Metro monthly bus pass. The beautiful times I spent leisurely riding bus to bus, not stopping for cash back, and not heckling neighbours for change... Perhaps life will be like that once again, I believe in a world where all of the children have bus passes. Where ice cream is bought for $1.25 instead. Where is my dream??

I still keep the thing around, for nostalgic purposes.


You know what else I really like about the Dash? There's always a lot of really cool old people on it.

Today I saw:
1. The Hat King - This old guy had 2 straw hats on, those really cool Jamaican looking ones. I mean it's cool enough that he was wearing 1 straw hat, but to throw another up there was not only bold, it was genius!

2. Mustache Master - Dude had a mustache to his knees, need I say more? I think he was about 80.

3. Louie and Isabella - These two weren't on this particular trip, I saw them about a week ago, on the same route. Louie was dressed to the nines in a full on 1930's gangster suit, with gold coming out of his ears and a fedora that meant business. He could hardly stand and I'm pretty sure if he said more than 2 words he would have keeled over, poor thing.. But he was one cool cat! He has with him a beautiful younger woman (she was still quite old, but compared to him, just a babe) A Spanish beauty, with long braided hair and bright red lips. She was wearing a long black dress with fringe and a pair of black boots that put me to shame. She very carefully led him onto the bus and sat with him. Another old man next to him helped him sit as well, keeping is hand on his back for the entire length of his ride... Who is this mysterious man I thought, what kind of power does he possess? And why is he riding the Dash bus? I really enjoyed watching them, I wished they had stayed on longer, and I still think about what their lives are like.

People are so interesting sometimes, don't you think?

I got another ride home, so no 212 to the 14 for me.. At least not tonight.

West Hollywood - Pasadena - West Hollywood

Welcome back to the magical metro tour!



Today I found myself heading east on the 780 to Pasadena to help a friend with some home maintenance. I only had to take one bus there, which was a thrill to say the least! Almost unheard of here...But my journey home certainly made up for that. I hopped on and settled into a nice people watching spot, leaving my jacket on the seat next to me so no one would sit next to me (rude I know, but a girl needs her boundaries).

It was the usual suspects at first:
1. Man with ear piece, letting the world in on his secrets
2. Punk girl with death glare
3. House music master blaster, pumping out beats for the whole bus to groove
4. 13 year old with adult problems, telling some unfortunately less mature being on his iphone "I told you to call me after 6... what can't you understand about that??"
5. Jake Gyllenhaal.

...Just kidding. But I did see him while passing by his Prince Of Persia premiere on Hollywood Blvd! Again, typical Hollywood... Can't even ride the bus without seeing Jake Gyllenhaal, or some other high power a-lister. Damn you Hollywood! Stop being so... you!!


You know, there's something I noticed about the people who ride the buses here. They all seem to know each other! And they all know their drivers! It's like a little family.. The same people ride the same lines on the same days and same times. I didn't see that in ny as much, although I did run into people I knew many times on the subways.. But I think that was just dumb luck. Maybe it's because less people use the Metro here? Or maybe it's a secret govt conspiracy...maybe they're all robot aliens sent here to destroy the planet one transportation system at a time!! ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! To the bunker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

About 1 hour and 45 minutes later I arrived safely in Pasadena, where I consumed Thai food, mopped floors, and played Ghost Recon 2 with my dear friend. The time had come to make my journey homeward as it was well beyond the witching hour. I had 3 buses ahead of me, and 2 cats at home who needed me in one piece!



First was the 180 to Hollywood/New Hampshire in Little Armenia (I know, don't even get me started). It was already 1am, and I had to make it to Colorado/Mentor in 6 minutes, so I bloody ran. I was huffing and puffing and of course the bus was late...It finally arrived, 4 minutes late, and I was greeted by the late night crew. Whodini was a wise one letmetellu, the freaks really do come out at night! it's not that I felt unsafe at all, but everyone seemed to be a little more frisky and a little more crumbly. Not more than 45 seconds had passed when an old man who was I think was tied to the bus itself, and a middle aged man began duking it out. They were arguing about the MTA system and it's injustices and it sounded something like this "Shut your motha f*ckin mouth old man, you old" "Don't you old me you don't know the history of MTA, I DO" "I don't give a f*ck, why you in the drivers business, mind your own" "Don't you take that tone with me young man, and don't you use those words.... driver he's using very hostile 4 letter words-" "Shut the f*ck up oldie"

I can't wait to be old, grumpy, and chained to a bus!
Suddenly the bus went dark, I had lost all hope for a brief moment, accepting the fact that I may have to live amongst the wicked and the 4 letter words of the damned...just when I thought I was done for a ghastly fluorescent beam of hope shined into my eyes. I wasn't stuck there on Colorado and Mentor...I was really going somewhere in life!!

Things were quiet until party kids arrived. They weren't quite kids, most likely in their 30s, high as a kite with 4 grocery bags full of all different varieties of snacking chip. The moment they sat down the air smelt of sweet bbq and artificial flavouring. They crunched their way through all 4 bags not even stopping to breathe, and discussed which "bitches" they felt they had "made a connection" with this week. Oh, youth.
They felt it their duty on Earth to comment on everyone's behaviour on the bus. From the man in the checkered suit who was shouting "He is a really good driver!" to me, the girl who was writing everything down. Shoot, I thought, I've been seen. I tried my best to act natural, I stole someone's newspaper and tried to blend in... They exited the bus and offered to make me an alfredo pizza, I smiled and nodded and took special note of the grocery bag containing 4 DiGiorno frozen pizzas.

It was closing in on 2am now, and my next adventure was to hop on the 217 to Melrose/Fairfax where I would hopefully catch my final bus home. I had a minor moment of panic when I realised I had no clue which direction to go so I ran back and forth in the deserted streets, checking my compass like a chicken with no head. I called my buddy Josh and begged him to google map for me (curse my life with no iphone!) We concluded that I needed to be heading west...a conclusion I could have come to on my own if not in Little Armenia at 2am by myself. I used an intense amount of psychic powers and manifestation to get the 217 to arrive. There wasn't much to say about this ride..The door sounded like dying mice, the wheelchair alarm was so loud it could have killed a baby elephant, there were moths, 3 Mexicans, 2 sassy gay guys, and a sleeping homeless man in a pear tree.

The best part about that trip is that I found a nickle.. and boy was it shiny!

I had finally arrived at Melrose..It was raining and I had already come to the conclusion that I was walking home.. 15 minutes was better than 2 hours of waiting for the bus to arrive, right? Plus it was nearly 3am and my spirit was no longer. But cry no more little wind child, there is a holy man! I was around the corner and the 10 West Hollywood driver saw me looking at him with pain in my eyes from across the street... I couldn't make this could I? I could run, but would it be a failed mission from the start?? But then, the man in the golden bus stopped! He waited for me as I dodged cars and ran to him...I'm pretty sure it was in slo-mo and and I'm almost CERTAIN I heard some Rod Stewart in the background. This driver, Mr. Terrance, didn't charge me a cent! He really was the cherry on my sundae.. It's moments like these that make you want to go out and save the world.


Maybe I'll even donate my nickle...



Until then... I bid you adieu.