Today I found myself heading east on the 780 to Pasadena to help a friend with some home maintenance. I only had to take one bus there, which was a thrill to say the least! Almost unheard of here...But my journey home certainly made up for that. I hopped on and settled into a nice people watching spot, leaving my jacket on the seat next to me so no one would sit next to me (rude I know, but a girl needs her boundaries).
It was the usual suspects at first:
1. Man with ear piece, letting the world in on his secrets
2. Punk girl with death glare
3. House music master blaster, pumping out beats for the whole bus to groove
4. 13 year old with adult problems, telling some unfortunately less mature being on his iphone "I told you to call me after 6... what can't you understand about that??"
5. Jake Gyllenhaal.
...Just kidding. But I did see him while passing by his Prince Of Persia premiere on Hollywood Blvd! Again, typical Hollywood... Can't even ride the bus without seeing Jake Gyllenhaal, or some other high power a-lister. Damn you Hollywood! Stop being so... you!!
You know, there's something I noticed about the people who ride the buses here. They all seem to know each other! And they all know their drivers! It's like a little family.. The same people ride the same lines on the same days and same times. I didn't see that in ny as much, although I did run into people I knew many times on the subways.. But I think that was just dumb luck. Maybe it's because less people use the Metro here? Or maybe it's a secret govt conspiracy...maybe they're all robot aliens sent here to destroy the planet one transportation system at a time!! ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! To the bunker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
About 1 hour and 45 minutes later I arrived safely in Pasadena, where I consumed Thai food, mopped floors, and played Ghost Recon 2 with my dear friend. The time had come to make my journey homeward as it was well beyond the witching hour. I had 3 buses ahead of me, and 2 cats at home who needed me in one piece!
First was the 180 to Hollywood/New Hampshire in Little Armenia (I know, don't even get me started). It was already 1am, and I had to make it to Colorado/Mentor in 6 minutes, so I bloody ran. I was huffing and puffing and of course the bus was late...It finally arrived, 4 minutes late, and I was greeted by the late night crew. Whodini was a wise one letmetellu, the freaks really do come out at night! it's not that I felt unsafe at all, but everyone seemed to be a little more frisky and a little more crumbly. Not more than 45 seconds had passed when an old man who was I think was tied to the bus itself, and a middle aged man began duking it out. They were arguing about the MTA system and it's injustices and it sounded something like this "Shut your motha f*ckin mouth old man, you old" "Don't you old me you don't know the history of MTA, I DO" "I don't give a f*ck, why you in the drivers business, mind your own" "Don't you take that tone with me young man, and don't you use those words.... driver he's using very hostile 4 letter words-" "Shut the f*ck up oldie"
I can't wait to be old, grumpy, and chained to a bus!
Suddenly the bus went dark, I had lost all hope for a brief moment, accepting the fact that I may have to live amongst the wicked and the 4 letter words of the damned...just when I thought I was done for a ghastly fluorescent beam of hope shined into my eyes. I wasn't stuck there on Colorado and Mentor...I was really going somewhere in life!!
Things were quiet until party kids arrived. They weren't quite kids, most likely in their 30s, high as a kite with 4 grocery bags full of all different varieties of snacking chip. The moment they sat down the air smelt of sweet bbq and artificial flavouring. They crunched their way through all 4 bags not even stopping to breathe, and discussed which "bitches" they felt they had "made a connection" with this week. Oh, youth.
They felt it their duty on Earth to comment on everyone's behaviour on the bus. From the man in the checkered suit who was shouting "He is a really good driver!" to me, the girl who was writing everything down. Shoot, I thought, I've been seen. I tried my best to act natural, I stole someone's newspaper and tried to blend in... They exited the bus and offered to make me an alfredo pizza, I smiled and nodded and took special note of the grocery bag containing 4 DiGiorno frozen pizzas.
It was closing in on 2am now, and my next adventure was to hop on the 217 to Melrose/Fairfax where I would hopefully catch my final bus home. I had a minor moment of panic when I realised I had no clue which direction to go so I ran back and forth in the deserted streets, checking my compass like a chicken with no head. I called my buddy Josh and begged him to google map for me (curse my life with no iphone!) We concluded that I needed to be heading west...a conclusion I could have come to on my own if not in Little Armenia at 2am by myself. I used an intense amount of psychic powers and manifestation to get the 217 to arrive. There wasn't much to say about this ride..The door sounded like dying mice, the wheelchair alarm was so loud it could have killed a baby elephant, there were moths, 3 Mexicans, 2 sassy gay guys, and a sleeping homeless man in a pear tree.
The best part about that trip is that I found a nickle.. and boy was it shiny!
I had finally arrived at Melrose..It was raining and I had already come to the conclusion that I was walking home.. 15 minutes was better than 2 hours of waiting for the bus to arrive, right? Plus it was nearly 3am and my spirit was no longer. But cry no more little wind child, there is a holy man! I was around the corner and the 10 West Hollywood driver saw me looking at him with pain in my eyes from across the street... I couldn't make this could I? I could run, but would it be a failed mission from the start?? But then, the man in the golden bus stopped! He waited for me as I dodged cars and ran to him...I'm pretty sure it was in slo-mo and and I'm almost CERTAIN I heard some Rod Stewart in the background. This driver, Mr. Terrance, didn't charge me a cent! He really was the cherry on my sundae.. It's moments like these that make you want to go out and save the world.
Maybe I'll even donate my nickle...
Until then... I bid you adieu.
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